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Women's sports news

Female athletes

Thanks God, the times irretrievably passed away, when women were depicted as soft-bodied and flabby creatures and the only allowed female activity was child care. Nowadays, men dream not about delicate bashful and diffident fair maidens, but about sturdily-build, broad-shoulded, aggressive and tough ladies (like ones above) who appear not as passive observers but active participants - in athletic gyms and arenas, on the boxing rings and wrestling mats.

So, let's talk about women's sports news.

Русская версия

- At the prestigious international women's mugbeating tournament, young promising Russian mugbeater Livid Spotova managed to achieve a great success just at the second minute of the first round - she broke nose of her opponent, Juliana Juliano from Argentina. But in the second round due to an inexpert referee allowed the Russian girl to get black eye. However, Spotova was announced a winner by a technical "mockout" because weighing after match showed that her opponent lost more blood. Spotova's record is now 12-3-5 (6) - 12 broken noses, 3 black eyes, 5 kicked out teeth (and just 6 lost hair).

- Our pentathlon girls keep pace with the mugbeaters in "pulling-pushing" bouts (or as it's usually called "chasing girls away"). Five penthatlonists gather in a small circle and under the referee order start pulling-pushing. The athlete wins the bout, which remains the last in the circle. In order to be successful in this really Russian and truly female combat style, you need a lot of femininity. The biggest femininity appeared to have Siberian woman Evdokia Grapplova - 385 LBS and she skillfully and thriftily disposed of it, pushing out all her opponents (quite feminine too).

- Good news are coming from the European cheampionship in the cat-style (or tigress-style) wrestling in the junior division. Young Russian athlete Purra Whiskerova performs very successfully. In her first bout against Estonian girl Hummeow, she just threw the opponent's hulk over her both thighs and fell on her. Even infamous Canadian referee Wisky Brandy was obliged to announce the "hulk fall".

- News from the sport of asskicking. On the international tournament "Iron Haunch" our female asskickers achieved significant results. One more Russian athlete Pelagea Kikunova reached the semifinal overkicking fellow countrywoman Marianna Cracklova. In the playoff time, Pelagea was more resultive - four out of five her kicks reached the aim whereas just two Marianna's kicks pounded at the opponent's buttocks.

- Two old friend-rivals met in the final of the National championship in the Japanese wrestling "sum-o-bags" in the absolute weight category. In fact, "sum-o-bags" is a peculiar form of fencing with carrier bags. Veronika Ovalova and Olesya Roundova engaged in a tough straight-out fight. After all bumps on the contestants' foreheads had been calculated, Ovalova happened to have two more than her opponent. However, it turned out that Roundova resorted to an illegal trick - she added eight bricks to her bag with eggs - she was punished by three additional forehead bumbs. As a result, Ovalova became the absolute champion.with less number of bumps.

- On the Olympics trials in the "weight elevating", fierce struggle flared up between Elena Cruelova and Galina Brutalova. After the post-contest weighing it turned out that Brutalova managed to elevate her own weight by 104lbs - from 110 to 214 lbs whereas Cruelova gained just 70lbs (originally having 345lbs.) So, Brutalova was awarded with a pass to the Olympics.

- One more truly feminine sport requiring special courage - combative "slapping". Men rarely can withstand heavy women's slaps. However, our girls not just withstand slaps but manage to successfully deliver a lot of them at their opponents faces and bodies. In the bout between Larisa Assova and Vera Plumpova, experienced Assova gave her opponent a sound thrashing. Larisa Assova was announced "the best thrasher".

- Recently, our girls became enthusiastic about the sport of "coercing". In the mixed bout on the tournament for the minors, the high school student Natasha Forcina managed to give George Walkman a dressing down.

- And the very last news for now. Currently, our female sambo wrestlers are coping with a new combative sport, in which they actually compete on equal terms with Brasilian girls (the founders of this activity). The name of this sports says for itself - "Samba".

Next time we will tell you about news in such sports as throwing, pinching, tickling and force-stripping, in which our throwesses, pinchesses, tickesses and striptesses demonstrate their achievements.

Sent by Elena Belonogova

October 2005

Exclusive of the Female Single Combat Club

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