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Underground prize fighting


Boxing
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We publish a report of an unauthorized female boxing match in London. The report abounds in specific terminology. Even a report about an official bout may have fewer details – almost all punches and combinations are described. Those who are not too familiar with the boxing terminology can look here.


Since I have some experience in boxing reporting, I took the opportunity to make a report for a serious women's fight for a prize in a fight-club in London. For the obvious reason, I may not say where the club is located but I will try to describe this bout in the round-by-round way.

The ring is located in the middle of a smoked up room. Noisy tipsy people are sticking around, the most of them are men; the women are mostly middle-aged and they are boisterous. Almost everyone smokes and drinks beer. The tickets are not cheap, so the audience is not the ragged. I was told that the girls would be fighting for high stakes. Prizefighting is an old English entertainment and women have participated in it at least since the 18th century (even though not too frequently). Usually men fight in this room and the promoters always make everything possible to avoid mismatches or 'slaughter'. Candidate always take a test in sparring with experienced fighters and trainers. I was told that today two very dangerous female heavyweights are expected (middleweight in the men's categories).

To be honest, I am not a fan or supporter of women's boxing; the matches I have seen so far seem to be kind of awkward. On the one part, the fights were unskillful, on the other part; they were quite brutal and sexualized. I don't think a female body is good for taking blows. I feel uncomfortable about women being punched or kicked in the belly or breasts. Unfortunately, tonight I will have to see that…

I guess the strategy and techniques in women's boxing should be different from men's boxing. By nature, women are softer and less violent; the breasts at the front make any female fight peculiar. Besides, women always more care about their appearance, especially face condition.

At long last! The ring announcer: "Ladies and gents, it's fight time! A fierce battle between two giantesses is coming! The 170 pounds of live weight is heading to the ring. And, in case you were wondering, that's the 'Lioness'. If there's a guard you'd want having your back in a back alley right, it would be Lioness. Unfortunately for her, the ring isn't a back alley, and 175 pounds of live weight is heading to the ring. Unlike Panther, Rhino isn't a street fighter - she is an inborn heavy steamroller! The bout is scheduled for six two-minute rounds… of course unless one of the girls decides to take a rest on canvas… Please make these undefeatable ladies feel welcome!!!"

Perhaps, the girls are in their twenties but their mature bodies and determined faces furrowed by decisive wrinkles make them much older. Lioness seems to be more attractive; having the high sticking out boobs and the solid ass bulged back. Rhino is much broader than the Lioness and shorter her; her boobs and hips are massive; she stands with feet planted apart (boobs are apart too) and sullen look. It is scary to imagine yourself wit her on the ring. In fact these ladies are worth each other. According to haunters, each of them has fought here and neither one has ever lost. But today some one will have to… I asked about the girls' athletic background. Lioness used to be a good swimmer and Rhino practiced basketball and Judo.

Dangerous giants Lioness and Rhino all smiles as they waves to the crowd. The intensity of the cheering picks up as the girls shrug off their robes. Many are standing as the chopping begins.


Round 1. The fighters touch gloves, and we're off. Lioness misses with a big right though the crowd reacts. Rhino sticks the jab in Lioness's face. Lioness wings another right. Rhino pegs Lioness in the stomach with a jab. Lioness is jabbing. Rhino is coming forward. That's a surprise. Lioness throws an overhand right, then comes up with an uppercut as the crowd roars. Lioness rakes to the body with a digging blow directly at boobs. Rhino returns the favor with shots to the liver. Crowd begins to chant for Lioness. Rhino is trading on even terms with Lioness. That's dangerous. A big right rocks Rhino. Rhino shuffles and struggles to keep her balance. (It's really weird to comment women's boxing – "she, her"). Lioness is supremely confident. The crowd goes wild. Rhino is trying to relax. Lioness is leading with a telegraphed right hand - and landing. Rhino is leery. Lioness storms across the ring. Lioness is all business tonight. No showboating, no antics; all business. Rhino ties up. Lioness throws a combination. Nice jab, followed by body shots by Lioness. Realizing the solidity of Rhino's body, Lioness zeros in it. Rhino is trying to slow Lioness with body shots. Lioness is controlling the ring and fighting with a high work rate. Both girls tie up with a minute left in the round. Lioness just misses with a right. Rhino is on her toes. Lioness misses and Rhino counters with a half-hearted jab. Lioness gets hit with a jab seconds before the bell. Saved by the bell!


Round 2. The girls trade jabs to begin the round. Rhino is timing her shots better now. Lioness dips between a Rhino counter, then tackles Rhino. Lioness is complaining about a head butt now. Both girls touch gloves and we're off again. Rhino pummeling the body but Lioness hasn't slowed down yet. Lioness clubs Rhino to the body with her right as she holds Rhino with the left. I think they teach you that one in the schoolyard. Lioness sticks the left jab and right hook in Rhino's face. For the third time in the round, Lioness attempts to slam Rhino. Lioness is imposing her power on Rhino. Lioness jabs, and then throws a haymaker right. Rhino is turning up the heat and timing Lioness's punches. Lioness doing everything she can to keep Rhino off her game. The crowd cheers anything Lioness throws. Rhino misses with a hook and Lioness storms in - but walks into a counter hook. Lioness's punches are losing steam. Rhino counters a Lioness charge with a pair of hooks, one of them hits boobs. Now a right hand stops Lioness in her tracks. Rhino is finding a home for counter rights and hooks on Lioness's chin now. This is by far Rhino's best round, even though her left eye is swollen. Lioness charges in but is met with a jab. The last ten seconds the girls are busy with a vicious war up until the bell, with non-stop punches landing. It is unbelievable that with such accurate and continuous punishment, neither fighter have gone down. It is just heavy pounding again by both till the end of the round.


Round 3. Both girls lock horns to begin the round. Rhino jabs, and then lunges with a right. Rhino is looking like a bull now. Lioness stalks, misses with a punch, and then locks up. Rhino just misses with a right, and Lioness is hopelessly late with a counter right. Rhino seems relaxed and confident at this point. Lioness lands a solid hook as Rhino pulls straight back. A right hand lands flush for Rhino. Rhino is opening up and Lioness looking to take advantage. Lioness goads Rhino to stand and trade but Lioness isn't having it. Lioness is complaining about a liver shot. Rhino stuns Lioness with a quick combination. Lioness gathers herself quickly. Lioness is predictable with her punches at this point. Clash of heads; both are OK. Rhino is stunned by a sudden right haymaker but she firmly fights back stalking Lioness. Rhino is opening up; Lioness nods for more punishment. Rhino is teeing off. Rhino lands a vicious left hook. Lioness is asking for more. Rhino jabs, hooks, uppercuts to the body and goes back to the head. Both throw heavily and land hard at the bell. Rhino's left eye gets black.


Round 4. Rhino is fighting like she has somewhere to be in a few minutes. She wants to end it. Lioness is pawing with a jab. Rhino locks up when Lioness gets too close. Lioness holds with her left and goes clubbing with her right. Lioness leaps in with a hook but Rhino easily evades. Both girls trade uppercuts. Lioness fighting with renewed energy. Lioness snaps Rhino's head back with an uppercut. Rhino on her toes and evading punches. Fight's turned ugly; lots of holding. Lioness is still winging them. Lioness throws, and then holds. Lioness is throwing first now; Rhino not doing much. Both fighters are warned for wrestling. Rhino is trying to mount an attack but Lioness not having it. Lioness winds up and throws a haymaker. Rhino is rocking Lioness with a hard right to the face that snapped her head around - just at the bell! Both faces are disfigured. Rhino's left eye is black; Lioness's eyelids are swollen and her nose is bleeding. Women's boxing turns out to be brutal and ugly. I must point out that there is a truly war going on in the ring, with constant attacks and exchanges - there is no dancing done by either warrior.


Round 5. Rhino comes out firing aggressively at the bell, slipping inside Lioness' fists, and started a brutal exchange of body blows that had both women wincing. One would land a shot to the ribs, breasts or stomach, the other would adjust her arms to cover the target area, then hope that she could get her glove up to stop the incoming leather missile to her head. Lioness is missing with rights, Rhino working the body, concentrating on Lioness's boobs. Rhino has turned southpaw. Lioness holds while Rhino works the body. Lioness is still leaping in but Rhino not quite quick to counter. Rhino misses with a lead left hook. Both girls back to holding. Rhino lands a low blow; Lioness cringes. Rhino lands a vicious right hand. The crowd lets out a howl. Both girls trade to the body. Lioness swings Rhino to the canvas. Lioness is doing her best to tie up Rhino. Rhino is still landing cleanly but can't budge Lioness. Lioness is picking her spots and trying to time Rhino coming in. Both girls back to wrestling. A vicious body shot slows Lioness and forces her to clinch. A pair of right hands gets Lioness's attention. Being exhausted, Lioness gathers her last strength and lands one of her hardest punches to the jaw as the bell rings. It is probably her last successful punch. The crowd gave her a standing ovation.


Round 6. Last round. Rhino opens up with hooks and crosses. Lioness waves to the crowd and eats a jab. Lioness comes out aggressively but quickly loses steam. Both girls are trading in the center of the ring. Neither girl budges the other. Lioness lands a clubbing right but it barely fazes Rhino. Lioness is doing her best to outwork Rhino. Rhino lands a jab then gets out of the path of danger. Lioness resorts to lunging. Rhino digs to the body but her punches don't sting. Rhino hurts Lioness with hooks and a hard right. Rhino is gunning for the knockout. Lioness hurt badly. A hard left hook and Lioness is knocked out just a second before the scheduled end! She hits the canvas just before the bell! One second would save her! A deafening clamor rises in the crowded square. Everyone jumps to his feet. Great knockout!


There is a chaos in the smoke-filled room. Fighters' husbands and friends come to the ring. Rhino with the black left eye – she looks happy and triumphant. Lioness is brought round. I can't recognize Lioness; her face is swollen as much as even a drunk man couldn't decorate it. Two big girls with battered faces hug each other. Flushed Rhino lifts her trainer. In fact, real Rhino!

What I can say in conclusion... it was an excellent experience. The bout was extremely fascinating and skillful but I experienced a few unpleasant moments. Women's boxing is much more emotional than men's one. It much more affects spectators with have gone wild. I would consider this bout to be more interesting for me than 95% of men's fights I have seen. However, I wouldn't allow women to box because blows to belly and breasts might affect their ability to give birth. I really don't understand why women want fighting. As a matter of fact, women have their own "fighting styles". No doubt, Lioness would defeat Rhino in any beauty contest. If I were Lioness's husband, I would not allow her to fight at all…

Actually, I digress from the boxing report. Both boxers have demonstrated great techniques and skills and knowledge of boxing secrets. In fact, each of them could fight against a middleweight male beginner or even against an experienced lightweight. Strange as it may seem, as a boxer Lioness looks better for me – thanks to her liveliness, quick wit and, techniques. I should give credit for Rhino too, for her will to win, stamina, techniques, strength and most important – her ability to endure punching and to inflict damage to any available part of her opponent's body. I noticed that the girls do not disdain to punch in the boobs; looks like they aim there. In men's boxing such punches are ineffective; perhaps, in women's boxing, such blows are psychological efficient. Personally I would ban punching or kicking to breasts, or even better - boxing itself).

Robert Bundle
August 2006


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