Every match has its "rules" and you and your opponent should decide on those. This section treats, not so much specific action rules, but guidelines you should follow based on common sense and the traditions passed down by combative women.
There are probably some variations out there but the combative women we all consider our "role models" (people like Joan Wise, Beatrice Goffin and Judell Dulong) follow these "rules" in real life and have trained many many women to do the same.
Conduct before, during and after
- Be cordial and respectful at all times unless you're in a fantasy scene, which has been agreed to beforehand.
- Do NOT punch, scratch, choke, gouge, bite, kick, or use any other move than could cause permanent injury or permanent marks.
- Always have at least one observer in the room with you during the contest.
- Stop fighting the moment the opponent submits!
- Stop the moment she says she's injured, whether you believe it or not.
- Stop the moment you have rolled off the contest surface (be it mat or anything else). Just break and go to the center to resume; a lost advantage is better than a broken bone.
- Do nothing that hasn't been agreed to.
- Do NOT under any circumstances permit observers to interfere unless there is a security problem. In that case, their interference should signal the end of the contest.
- Determine whether the observers are allowed to be vocal (cheering you on, etc.). If they are, set some limits: I personally don't want somebody else's guy calling me a "bitch" for instance while I'm wrestling. Make sure these guys understand what language is forbidden and, if they violate it, stop the contest right there and then.
- Never, and I mean NEVER, let the contest get "out of hand". A lot of guys seem to have this fantasy about a wrestling match turning into a fight. Let them go watch videotapes! If for some reason you want to change the rules, stop fighting and talk about it.
- If your opponent violates any of these rules, stop the contest and tell her you won't continue under those conditions. If she's persistent or unresponsive, leave. Period.
- You can do this in somebody's home or a motel or gym or anyplace where there's privacy and enough room.
- Contests should occur on mats because they're safer. But, if you don't have them and must wrestle on a floor, try to find a soft surface like a couple of mattresses put together. If you're on a rug make sure the material isn't scratchy. Remember, however, that the surface should dictate what you do. Don't throw someone down hard on a rug; you'll hurt her.
- If you think the action may get vocal or noisy, have some music playing to drown it out.
- Have a specific place where the observers can sit or stand... away from the action.
Okay... that's in general. Now, let's go over the rules and caveats for each form of combat.
This is really the easiest. You get together and wrestle and the winner wins by pinning the opponent for a stated count (I prefer a three count but some use five or even ten) or by forcing a submission. The match may be started either standing or from the knees. If you're less experienced, you're wrestling on something other than a mat or there isn't much space, start from the knees. The rest is up to you and you'll learn as you do it.
Catfighting, despite the intimidating sound of the term (and the expression in the pic to the right), can be fun and as safe, if not safer than, straight wrestling. But it must be done properly and with the appropriate opponent.
The first caveat I would offer is: don't ever catfight somebody you haven't wrestled and never catfight an inexperienced wrestler. Experienced wrestlers know how to pull hair without yanking it out and grab you without scratching. They are also calm in combat and won't let things get out of hand. You'll learn how to do these additional things when you start fighting but I'll cover a couple now.
- Fight to submissions or pins just like a wrestling match. Don't fight until somebody can't continue; that's too dangerous.
- Usually, the three catfight techniques are hair pulling, slapping and breast grabbing. You can include any or all of these in the fight but both of you must consent to them beforehand.
- Surprising, as it may seem, the most dangerous of these techniques is actually the hairpull. That may be because it's a beginner may be most familiar with (from Junior High or something when you tried to "yank her hair out by the roots!!!" grrrr). Repress all such tendencies, sweetie! Here you are pulling hair for position not to yank it out. The best way is to combine your hair grab with a push of the palm on the head, making sure your opponent's head will "give" with the pull (like you see in the picture at right). And don't pull suddenly... do it evenly so she has time to react and move with the pull. (The woman on the bottom is doing a picture perfect position hair pull - you can see she's restraining but not yanking). Practice on yourself to get a feel for how it feels. It's NOT for everyone.
- Grab breasts with the fingertips and never dig nails in no matter how short they are. Breast twisting is an extreme maneuver and should probably be avoided unless you both know what you're doing. Just grab them and squeeze if you've included that. In the photo to the right, these rather well endowed ladies appear to be doing something extremely dangerous. In fact, Crystal Films' Maylay (on the bottom) and her lovely opponent are doing it perfectly: their nails are long but even in the heat of battle; they are kept away from the flesh. No scratch marks here! If you are sure you can do it this way, include breast grab if you want; if you're not sure, do NOT do it. Please! By the way, see the "safety" section for some information on nails and length and accidental scratches. Remember that these women are experienced in this kind of fighting and they know how to use this technique without scratching. A scratch isn't the end of the world but it can cause discomfort and infection if not treated quickly... so do check the section "safety".
- Slap with open fingers and short slaps. You can slap full circle to the body if you want but keep the slaps to the face short with the fingers open and loose. If a slap makes you angry, do NOT retaliate. Talk about this beforehand because it's very important - blows are shocking and shock can turn into anger. This is not a street fight. If you're not sure you can stay calm when hit in the face, don't hit to the face. Never kick your opponent with a knee. Knees are deadly!
The erotic combat has its own set of additional rules which should be coorditate by wrestlers in private.
What you wear depends on what you're doing.
- My general rule is to wrestle in as little as you're comfortable with but no less. One-piece gym or swim suits are fine as are two piece bathing suits. You should remember that with some bikinis the top might slip off during a match. If you've a problem with that, dress accordingly.
- Some women like to wrestle topless or nude. If you are one of them, talk to your opponent about it frankly and openly. Many wrestlers will do it without hesitation; some have a big problem with it.
- If you're going to catfight, attire becomes a real issue. I don't do street clothes catfights where you rip stuff off but some very good women wrestlers like that. If you do, just don't wear anything good and make sure it rips easily. You could be burned or scratched if the dress resists a rip.
- If you're going to breast grab, you've got another issue to face: at some point, she has to bare your breasts. It's very difficult to grab breasts effectively through material and anyway, if you're breast grabbing, there's a reason why and it's probably now consistent with modesty . My preference would be to start bare breasted. A top that is yanked off can be cumbersome and even dangerous. But, if you want to pull tops off, agree to do that and nothing more (PULEEZE don't choke each other with those things!).
- The other issue, interestingly enough, is your feet. I have a hard and fast rule: I wrestle and fight barefoot and require all opponents to do the same. Many women I know have the same attitude for a very simple reason: shoes are dangerous. Even gym shoes can leave serious bruises on legs after an accidental kick. Of course, heels in a real match are simply not worn unless you want a broken ankle or an injury from a heel. I don't like to fight in hose or socks because they're uncomfortable, hot, and scratchy. If, for some reason, you do, go ahead but make sure your opponent has no problem with it. BUT make sure all leg wear is clean - don't wear to the venue, clean it and put it on right before you begin.