I have never fought a woman I didn't like... at least a bit. That may seem a strange statement because we are taught that "fighting" is something you do in anger or with foul purpose. But trust me, you'll understand what I mean the very first time you wrestle another woman. The experience of sharing the nervousness, excitement, physical challenge and adventure is really a "binding" experience for women and you are probably going to feel a real kinship with your opponent. THAT is not the problem for most of us. The problem is actually fighting her. Because there is a bottom line and we might as well make it clear up front:
Combative women fight other combative women and we fight to win.
We do for fun because it IS fun, a lot of fun. We do it respectfully and safely and out of friendship because the experience makes us grow and we can't have that experience without our opponents. But, for that to happen, we have to try to beat them! For women, one of the main issues is our programmed difficulty in actually "fighting" someone we're not angry with and our fear of provoking anger or bad feelings in another woman.
How "heavy" should I get? Where do I grab her? How rough is too rough? Will she be embarrassed if I beat her? Will I if she beats me? This is the first place where an important attitude shift must occur. Girlfriend, remember why you're there: you are getting together to compete physically and to explore what that means for each of you.
Wrestling is just fun, of course, but it can also be a deepening experience for you: you're using muscles in ways most women don't, you are struggling against a person who is about as strong as you. You're not "fighting back" against an attacker here - you are attacking as well. The goal is no longer "survival" or getting away as in a physical attack from a man; the goal here is to beat her. The important thing is to convince yourself of a simple fact: SHE wants you to try to beat her..
In the real world, you are both going to feel some pressure possibly from your men or other observers. You may be encourage to engage in some kind of fantasy... All of us have had these pressures and they must be rejected out of hand. Essentially, the rule for combative women is to be respectful and sensitive in setting up a match and after it and fighting within the rules with everything you have to beat her during the match.
While this may seem harsh to her (or to you, if you lose), it is really the highest form of respect and support for her. You will NOT enjoy a match in which one of you isn't trying hard.
So... fight! Grab her wherever you can, struggle to get her down, struggle to stay on top of her, fight hard to hold her in place, fight like hell to get out of her holds. Push, pull, roll, grab and hold. Don't be afraid to hurt her. Unless you are much more experienced than she or much bigger, you won't. In short, you should never be afraid to wrestle hard and wrestle to win. She will do the same and, win or lose, each of you will emerge feeling that you've had fun and that, in a small way perhaps, your world is a slightly different place.
Go the venue for the match and fight. Have fun. Giggle. Laugh. Struggle. Sweat. Enjoy yourself!