One of the most frequent questions from women is about pre-match preparations. To wit: "We're together in the room. The guys are there. We're ready. Now what do we do? How do we start?"
Great question and it is a real issue for many combative women because a scene can greatly enhance the fun of a match and sometimes can be as moving, arousing, and fun as the match itself. While it most often occurs in a rules catfight, scenes can be an issue in a wrestling match as well.
So if you are going to do a "scene" before tangling, you need to PLAN it and treat it as part of the match. As previously indicated, opponents should talk about possible "scenes" - will you play out some scenario, dress in any special way, argue about something, have some preliminary vignette? Will you be cordial right up to the match or will you "take an attitude" with each other? Will you play out a fake argument or act coldly as rivals?
And even if there's no specific scene planned, there is the issue of preliminaries. What do you do before the match begins? When do you actually start? How will you handle attire? I'm not advocating a complete production here - I mean, you're there to wrestle not to win an Academy Award - but scenes and preliminaries are worth at least a few minutes of discussion and agreement. So... let's talk.
"Bitch!" and Other Preliminaries
Some women (and even more men) like an aggressive build-up while some just can't get into it. Talk it out by phone as you discuss the encounter and go over preparations a couple of times before you actually meet. Most women aren't actresses. If you're going to do a whole scene, you need to talk together to set parameters, explain "attitudes", etc. In other words, no one should be surprised. If you decide to actually do a build up scene, there are some rules you should be conscious of.
Make clear what your opponent does NOT want to hear. She may be embarrassed by allusions to part of her body or offended by racial, ethnic, class or sexual slurs. The best advice is to refrain from using any of these unless both opponents have specifically called for it. A slur too close to home can be painful and can spoil the entire experience.
Are you going to argue over one of the men? (Some women do this... some men like this). Well, what's the other man (the guy who isn't the "prize) going to think or feel? Get all that clear.
Finally, decide when you're going to start the scene and how long it will take, more or less. You don't want to walk into a room expecting a cordial greeting and have someone call you names. If the scene will commence the moment you walk into the room, make that clear. Also, your opponent may not want to argue for a half hour, no matter how catty you're feeling at the moment.
In short, NO surprises.
As silly as it might seem, how you enter the room for the fight can be an awkward issue.
My preference is for both women to retire the moment everyone is together and then talk over last minute issues and get into the clothing you'll wear to enter the room (which can be your fighting garb or, as is frequently the case, substantially more). Then walk in together.
Any way you do it, you should try to be together most of the time. Don't keep the other person waiting. The same is true of where you sit (with your observers or together, apart from them) and what you will do before you begin.
But once you're in the room, whether you're planning a scene or not, there are some important issues to be clear on.
You're in Charge!
The women must be in charge of the situation. Giving up control can result in one of you feeling intimidated, pressured, embarrassed or even frightened and that will be a very negative experience for both of you. The observers are going to be excited so make clear with both of them that they are NOT to tell you to begin, encourage you to start, ask you when you're going to get going or explain what you should do. They are OBSERVERS and, if they have little pieces of advice, they can impart these before the couples are together. Once the preparations have begun, observers should have as little verbal contact with the fighters as possible (aside from a "good luck, honey" or a whispered "beat the heck out of her" encouragement). Let the combatants concentrate on what they're about to do. Second, play your scene any way you want BUT never surprise the opponent with a "let's get started". In other words, the commencement of the match should depend on a signal between combatants.
Why's that, Barbara????
Because one or both of you may be nervous, jittery and need a bit of time to compose herself. Each opponent has a responsibility to give the other that time. Now, if you're trying to get yourself together and she says "Well, let's go" you will either have to start unprepared or risk embarrassment by saying "I'm not ready" and looking at the observers' hungry and impatient little faces.
So arrange a signal beforehand
I use the shoe trick mostly. Goes like this:I usually wear heels or maybe open toe sandals to enter a room for a match and will sit down with them on. I ask my opponent to do the same. Keep the shoes on. And I give her the courtesy (especially if she's less experienced than I) of giving the first signal. When she's ready, she slips one foot out of her shoe (a common and furtive gesture). If I am ready, I'll do the same. Then, when I slip out of my shoe, she can ask openly if I'm ready and I will respond that I am and we can slip out of the other shoe and... well, whatever else we need to slip out of. If I don't reciprocate the gesture, she waits until I do. Simple to do without attracting any attention. And what of the everything else to slip out of?
You can do this any way you want but you should make clear how it would be done. There are observers and they'll watch every move. My suggestions?
Stand facing each other (albeit maybe not as close as the two to the right) and match each other garment for garment. By agreement, one of you takes the lead. She removes something and the opponent immediately begins doing the same. The leader waits until the opponent has the garment removed before going on to the next garment. Go as slowly as you need to for comfort but don't prolong it. It's not a race but it's not a striptease either. And, of course, don't take off anything that hasn't been agreed to beforehand - don't play those games.
Keep your eyes on each other. Steer clear of looking over to the observers. This is the time for you to focus. Unless you're playing a nasty scene, smile a bit at her and try to make her feel as comfortable as you can. But make NO comments. Nothing.
When you're both down to whatever you have planned to get down to, nod once to each other and, when both have nodded, come together and assume your starting positions. Nod to each other once more and start
NEVER let the guys say "One, Two, Three... go" or ask if you're ready or anything like that. You two can count and it is absolutely essential that you women control the pace and development of this situation. Essential that you never give control up to either of the observers (male or female).
And then, start. Simple, huh? Any questions? Ladies? Any... Hey, you two!!! I didn't mean to start right now! Oh, well. I guess they were looking forward to the match. LOL...